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Compulsive Sexual Behaviour

Increasingly a challenging area for many clients, I have seen an increase in guys presenting with problems relating to problematic sexual behaviour.

Do I have a problem?
If you answer yes to three or more of the followoing you may be at risk of developing or already have a sex addiction.

  1. Have you ever regretted what you got up to on more than a few occasions?
  2. Have you ever made rules around what you will and won't do, only to find yourself breaking those rules, again?
  3. Do you find other important activities or hobbies or friendships becoming neglected because of your sexual behaviour?
  4. Do you ever feel too ashamed to tell others about some or all of your sexual behaviour?
  5. Do you keep secrets from your partner about your sexual behaviour?
  6. Do you find it difficult to either get aroused, or to reach orgasm through traditional 'vanilla' sex?
  7. Do you more than once a month find yourself missing out on sleep because of your sexual behaviour?
  8. Do you now find yourself thinking about sexual behaviour at work or at other times when you should be elsewhere focussed?

Treatment takes a comprehensive approach, custimised to each person's unique circumstandes, and may include any of the following components, as well as others:

Identifying Triggers: Strategies for identifying and addressing the four types of trigger - (1) spontaneous arousal, (2) seeing someone who arouses you, (3) habit and routines (such as times, places or situations) and (4) feelings and agitation.

Managing Urges: Looking at how to manage the urges when they arise.

Understanding fantasies: some people can be troubled by their fantasies or fetishes. Whilst diverse interests are a normal part of sexual make-up, when they are extreme, or exclusive, they may cause problems.

Access & Barriers: These are things that make it more or less likely for you to follow through with the behaviour when triggered.

Underlying patterns: Often this can be connected to difficulties with intimacy (defined as being able to shareall and any thoughts and feelings) so some clients may need to explore past relationship patterns and negative experiences that may have happened.



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